As He Leads

*I started writing this post with the full intention of sharing the weekly rhythms I'm trying to establish in our home, but it turned into something completely different....thank you, Holy Spirit!*

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First off, thank you so much for the several non-blog comments I've gotten from many of you readers letting me know that you too are struggling to find rhythm in your days with little ones. I'm glad I am not in this alone. I've been praying a lot that God would give me the right perspective and attitude in these crazy days with young ones. A verse that I have clung to for many months now is this:

He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young. - Isaiah 40:11

Let me repeat that...He gently leads those that are with young. God is gracious. Those condemning thoughts of utter failure, of being completely alone in this, of single-handedly ruining our kids forever (hmmm, am I being a little transparent here?), THOSE ARE NOT FROM OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. Rebuke them, put them to death (preaching to myself). He knows what it's like to have children who are utterly needy, who sass and seem to invent ways to disobey. And, it's by His example and only the power of His Spirit that we can, in turn, lead our children gently.

Our church is currently going through a preaching series on the Holy Spirit. Through this teaching and some really challenging recent conversations, I have been convicted that I don't ask the Spirit for help in mothering. Maybe I think God doesn't have the time or this job is such a small thing. And yet, He gently leads those that are with young. There it is again. Could it be any more clear that He is with me on this bumpy, sometimes confusing, often foggy, frustrating, hilarious, joyful, humbling journey of raising children. He wants to lead me, to help me, even when I don't know what to ask for.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. - Romans 8:26

He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? - Romans 8:32

I feel like I'm reading Romans 8 with brand new eyes these days in light of my current place in life. Will you join with me in asking for God's Spirit to guide us and empower us as moms?

The Rhythm of Our Home

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You hear time and again how much children thrive on routine. Well, I'm going to say mommy's do too. At least this mommy does...and when I am out of one, life feels chaotic, confusing and overwhelming. I know this just comes with the territory of having little ones underfoot. There will always be interruptions, minor emergencies (like "Mommy, I just pooped"...heard coming from my daughter's bedroom a few minutes ago)...ever heard of Tyranny of the Urgent?!

During much of my pregnancy with Silas and the first half of this year, our family has definitely been out-of-rhythm, with little routine and a lot of fly-by-the-seat of your pants. This can be a good thing, in small doses, but we are well overdue to get back into some good, intentional rhythms. As wife, mom and homekeeper of our family, I think I have a particular responsibility to have dominion over the rhythms of our home. Not only for my kids' and husband's sanity, but for my own! When I have a good routine, toilets get scrubbed, meals actually get on the dinner table before 8:00 pm and we are all better rested and freed up to play, enjoy one another and serve others.

At the beginning of the year, instead of making New Year's resolutions (which for me last about, oh, 72 hours), I asked God what He wanted to impress on me most. One of the words He gave me was Rhythm.

Rhythm [rith-uhm] - noun
1. movement or procedure with uniform or patterned recurrence of a beat, accent, or the like.
2. measured movement, as in dancing.
3. the regular recurrence of an action or function, as of the beat of the heart.
4. procedure marked by the regular recurrence of particular elements, phases, etc.: the rhythm of the seasons.

In thinking through the importance of routine and rhythm, I have been struck by how God's rhythms in creation reflect His orderly nature: in the orbit and rotation of the Earth, in the days and seasons. Yes, there are changes (out my front window I see the leaves just beginning to turn from green to gold), but just as we parents create routines for our toddlers, our Heavenly Father has also created this order so we know what comes next, we know how to prepare.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. - Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (ESV)

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Even our own bodies run by rhythms: when we don't follow our body's circadian rhythm, by staying up way too late, sleeping too much during the day, eating in the middle-of-the-night (all of which I did way too much of in graduate school), we get sick. When our hearts get out-of-rhythm (aka "arhythmia"), it's pretty catastrophic.

So, I've been doing some planning to get us back on track. Practically, I consulted a few of my favorite blogs to find out from other moms what their routines looked like as I set about developing ours. Here are some helpful reads:

5 Tips for Creating Family Routines and Establishing Rhythm in Your Home :: Simple Kids
Rhythms and Routines: The Flow of the Week :: Simple Kids
A New Rhythm :: Simplicity Parenting

I'm eager to share the routines we are starting to implement, both weekly and daily, in the hopes it will help you if this is an area you need improvement on too. I hate starting from scratch, so my routines have all begun as a copy-cat of others' routines, then I've just changed them up to fit our needs. (Also, if I the more I share the habits I am trying to get into, I am much more likely to follow through...so this is partially my way of holding myself accountable!)

Are routines something you fall into naturally, or do you have to work at them, like me?

For Moms

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. ~Spanish Proverb

With a new baby and a new year, the past several weeks have been a time of reflection and refocusing on my priorities and roles. Coming out of the survival mode of pregnancy, I feel more energized and motivated to start projects, make plans and easily get too busy. From experience, I know for me this leads to lots of dabbling, shallow involvements, misplaced priorities and plain old grumpiness. These are a few resources that help me come back to what is most important

Joyful Parenting Manifesto:: From Ann Voskamp at A Holy Experience. I have this hung on my refrigerator. It challenges and inspires me everyday. Lately, I have been focusing on #6, #7 and #9. Such good reminders...

Super Mom vs. Abiding Mom:: I definitely needed this. It's SO easy to fall into the lie that we are to be perfect moms, raising perfect kids. But the truth is that it is God doing the redeeming work, our work is only to abide in Him and to point our children towards Him.

Praying for your Children Calendar:: From Inspired to Action. Overwhelmed by how to pray for your kids? Don't know where to start? If it's ultimately God who does the growing, then what better way to spend our time than asking our Heavenly Father to make our kids more like Him?

Hope these bless you as much as they have me!

Oh, and here's why I do what I do...

my rockstar baby ballerina fairy...dressed for bed

sweet little buddy

1 month old

Silas turns 1 month old today! Cannot believe it. I suppose when you're not getting much uninterrupted sleep for several weeks on end, the concept of time is surreal anyway. But it really feels like Silas has been a part of our family for so much longer than 4 weeks. And, the aches and pains of pregnancy seem like a {somewhat} distant memory {although not SO distant that I'm ready to jump back in for awhile}.

He's been a busy boy...

Learning to hold his "paci" all by himself

Playdates with Bernard the bear

Finding his thumb

Eating LOTS and growing a nice, big belly

Taking lots of catnaps...and being ever so cute

Enduring Enjoying lots of lovin' from his big sis

I'll openly confess to having held this little boy for nearly the entire first month of his life. While the first weeks with Nora were a hugely joyful and exciting time for us, I didn't realize how quickly that snuggly newborn phase goes by. I don't think I soaked up enough of that sweet, newborn smell or those peculiar squeeks and grunts unique to newborns. I didn't gaze long enough at her teeny-tiny toes or nuzzle her peach-fuzz hair {which quickly fell out}. Maybe you can never really get enough of this "newbornness", but I have sure been trying!

Surviving the 1st Trimester, and beyond...

Thang tells me things were pretty rough for me during the 1st trimester with Nora, but I feel like they've been rougher this time around. Not to go into excruciating detail, but with Nora there was a lot of nausea, with this one, things went well beyond nausea (catch my drift?). I seriously have an even greater appreciation for those ladies who are sick throughout their entire pregnancies (I know several) and yet have had multiple children (can't imagine being sick like this for literally years of my life!).

God is so gracious though, and instead of the 16 weeks of yuckiness I had with Nora, things have seemed to settle down for me around 15 weeks this time. Now to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy (well at least until the back pain and swollen ankles begin, but I'll take that any day over the 1st trimester stuff).

I thought I would share a few of the things that seemed to provide me some relief.

Papaya enzymes. These are a great digestive support and helped alot with the burning, acidy feeling I would have sometimes after eating. These were recommended by a natural health practitioner, but I also checked with my nurse midwife to make sure they were safe. She gave the ok and while they were by no means a cure-all, they definitely helped.

Chewable prenatal vitamins. I quickly learned there was no way I could choke down those horse pills they call prenatal vitamins when my gag reflex was already on overdrive. I was so happy to find these...they were like a special treat, tasted like candy. I especially liked that they used natural coloring like blueberry and and carrot juices. I was surprised to see that most prenatal vitamins, including the samples provided by my midwife used artificial coloring.

Sea bands. A friend lent me hers when I was about 12 weeks along. These bands are worn on the wrist and provide a special pressure point to relieve symptoms of motion sickness...and pregnancy blahs. I don't know if it just happened to be the timing and things were starting to get better on their own, but after starting to use these my nausea got much more manageable. They basically look like some sweet, 1980's-style wrist sweatbands. I joked I needed one of these lovelies to match...

Aaaaah, ice cream, a little bowl/cone of heaven. As with my last pregnancy, the be-all, end-all, sure-thing when absolutely nothing else sounded appetizing was ice cream. Thang found an awesome sale on Breyer's and literally stocked our chest freezer. No, probably not the most nutritional meal, but often my dinner, and yes, a couple of times my breakfast. But, hey, there's calcium in ice cream, right?!

Another sure-fire remedy for the yuckies was a decaf Frappuccino. If I was out-and-about and started feeling sick, I was so thankful to know there would be a Starbuck's at the next corner. Can I just say, Target + Starbucks = DANGEROUS, DANGEROUS combination!

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And, last but most certainly not least, PRAYER! Looking back over the past 2 1/2 months, I honestly don't know how I got out-of-bed some days, let alone took care of Nora, but by the grace of God. There were many days, my heart's cry was simply "help me, Father, help me do this next thing". There were many times when I just needed to get out-of-the-house for small group or an appointment and I would pray and ask God to ease my yuckiness and He would take away my symptoms for several hours! It was awesome! I wish I could say this was always my first thought when morning sickness hit hard, but God was so faithful in the times that I did.

Hope some of these ideas are helpful. I know some of these come from the advice of several friends and I always appreciate hearing what other mom's have found to help them through.

So, for those of you who've been through a pregnancy or two, what got you through the worst of it?

(I'm tucking your ideas away for the next time...)

Cat's out of the bag

...or else somebody's puttin' on some weight...

Already in maternity pants and lovin' it!

Yes, we're expecting Li'l Tran #2 - due date December 24th, 2010! Talk about an amazing Christmas gift! This is also my very good excuse for not posting here for quite awhile. The nausea and exhaustion hit right at 6 weeks and we are now on week 14 and it's still going strong. With Nora the bad symptoms stopped around 16 weeks, so I am praying I only have a couple more weeks of this (or less, I sure wouldn't mind). This first trimester seems to be even harder than it was with Nora, and I was working full time while pregnant with her. I have no idea how I did it?! But, Thang seems to think I've just forgotten how bad it was.

God is continually reminding me that I am amazingly blessed to have this baby growing inside me and I need to stop whining. And, I have an awesome husband who has literally picked up all the slack over the past couple of months - after working all day he makes dinner (or just as often goes and picks it up), gives Nora her baths and puts her to bed almost every night, cleans up the kitchen (a room I almost can't stand to enter these days), and has done some major grocery shopping (which, bless his heart, takes him about twice as long as it takes me since I've gotten it down to a science). Thang is such a gift and I literally don't know how I would survive without him!

Nora knows there's a baby inside Mommy's tummy and will point to it when asked...but she also seems to think there's one in her tummy too. Hope she's not too disappointed in about 6 months!

Nora slurping up a noodle like a pro!

We are so excited to meet this little person. Thang is convinced it's a boy, I am sure it's another girl. We'll find out in about 6 weeks who's right! Either way, they will be, and are, so loved!!!

Happy Mother's Day!

A couple of videos for moms, prepare to laugh and cry...

Babies: The Movie is actually out this weekend! If you're in the Omaha area, it's playing at FilmStreams!

Happy Mother's Day!!!

From around the web.

I am amazed on nearly a daily basis by the thought-provoking writing I'm finding around the blogosphere. Here is a taste of some of the great posts that have encouraged me, challenged me or just sent my brain reeling...

Of mermaids and moral dilemmas at SortaCrunchy - about little girls, The Little Mermaid and growing up too fast. There is some great discussion in the comments.

Combating the "You should get out of the house more" mentality at At the Well - why being shut in with our kids because of the snow, ice and cold may not be a bad thing.

And, some amazing posts on the joy of repentance and grace in this Lenten season over at A Holy Experience - When a Family Needs a Fresh Start: Making a Place of Repentance and A Family Activity for Lent: A Box of Repentances. Ann's writing makes me cry.

And, have you heard of the magazine, Seeing: The Everyday? Take a look at their site - amazing photos of everyday life, seeing the beauty and teachable moments in simple, ordinary things. I'm intrigued!

The Family Magazine

SEEING THE EVERYDAY

Winding down...

...or should I say "drying up"...

*For any male readers out there, this post is in regard to "womanly", "motherly" issues...if you catch my drift. Just warning you!*

So, this past week, I officially "turned off the faucet", so to speak. That's right, I finally weaned Nora completely. My initial goal was to nurse for a year - which, when she was just a few weeks old, seemed like an eternity. Don't get me wrong, nursing went pretty smoothly for me overall. And, I must say, that oxytocin stuff is AMAZING. I think I seriously got a kind of breastfeeding high. I know this is not how it goes for every woman, so I felt really, really thankful for such an experience.

I didn't realize I would be as emotional about weaning. But, as the end drew nearer and nearer, the lump in my throat got bigger and bigger. It means that this unique part of Nora's relationship with Mommy is over - that there may never be the same extended snuggles or sleeping in my arms (Nora just doesn't fall asleep in our arms very easily). I guess in the end, what weaning really means to me is that my "Baby" really isn't a baby anymore. She's growing up, starting to make her own decisions (and testing Mommy and Daddy's boundaries), feeding herself and things will never be like they were before. This revelation has definitely motivated me to enjoy each day with Nora all the more, because tomorrow she will be a little more grown up, and the next day, and the next day. And, that is how it should be.

Nora on her Birth-day

Our sweet toddler